Test Of Humanity 1

Deep within the bowels of the Aperture Science facilities, the robotic entity known simply as Glados watched with mild interest on the various monitors her current test subjects' latest project. It was a fairly straightforward experiment. She would have Atlas and P-Body solve a simple puzzle, then, move to another room that looked almost identical to the previous one yet had very subtle changes to them. The sentient machine wanted to see if the two robots could adapt to small changes in their environment and learn new ways to solve essentially the same puzzle.

Unfortunately, the simplicity of such a test (to her at least) was that it got boring after a while. Not that it was predictable. It wasn't since how fast the two adapted had a surprising amount of variation to Glados's amusement. Sometimes Atlas and P-Body solved their tests with relative ease. Other times, such as with room they were currently in, it took them accidentally dismembering themselves several times before finally realizing the solution.

No, the boredom stemmed from the fact that it was just another way to test out the portal gun. She had done it countless times before. Use the portal gun to avoid being incinerated. Use the portal gun to move "Object A" to "Location B". Use the portal gun to dodge the "mashy spike plates"....and so on and so forth. There was no longer a challenge. No longer anything to satisfy her need to feel a rush of sorts when someone solved a challenging test. Nothing but sheer boredom.

Then, it it her. Why did she have to just test out portal guns? Who said she couldn't perform...other experiments? Problem was, what could she test? She could test to see what would happen if one were to implant a computer system into a plant and let said plant grow. However, she shook her mechanical head (or the closest thing she had to a head) and shuddered as much as a robot like her could shudder at the memory of being trapped in a potato.

Trapped. Trapped inside another body. Being forced from one shell of sorts into another. It made her snap back to another flash of memories of her human life as Caroline. No matter how many times she tried to delete that part of her, Caroline always found a way to come back. It was a failsafe of sorts. She would delete the file, and a back-up file would immediately be written. Nothing short of her utter destruction, which she was clearly against, would ever erase that part of her.

Glados shook her head again to snap herself out of her trance-like state. However, this time, she let out a little chuckle. She now knew what her newest test would be. She remembered how her past form of Caroline was once a human placed into a robotic body. Glados wondered if the same could be done in reverse.

"A robotic brain placed into a human body. I think that's worthy of science." she said to herself, "I have plenty of test subjects as well."

The robotic being looked at the thousands of humanoid test subjects that were frozen and awaiting being thawed out for experimentation. She examined each one to find one that would be perfect for her experiment. Too young. Too old. Too short. So far, nothing stood out.

However, as she was just about to give up, she noticed one subject in particular. A lanky fellow wearing glasses. Something that, if she recalled correctly, was something humans would dub as a "nerd". He wasn't anything too special. In fact, Glados figured that if he were to walk around in public, people probably wouldn't notice him.

He was perfect.

Now, she just needed a robotic brain to put into his body. But, which one? The turrets? She looked at the monitor to see several turrets firing at P-Body who was doing his (its?) best to dodge the numerous bullets.

"Target aquired." the turrets spoke in a child-like voice, "Firing. Dispensing Product. Goodbye."

No, they would never do. It would be odd to hear such simplistic child-like yet disturbing speech coming from a grown man for  no logical reason. She then turned her attention to the numerous personality cores she had at her disposal. Perhaps one of them would work.

Glados picked up the first core she saw and activated it.

"Kon'nichiwa. Anata ga tabete iru sandoitchi wa, bēkon de tsukura rete imasu. Watashi no ōoji no yagi ga pantsu no kare no furaidopoteto o umeta. (Translation: Hello. The sandwich you have eaten is made of bacon. My great uncle goat buried his french fries in your underpants.)" the core spoke in badly-spoken Japanese.

No, that core would never do. The last thing she needed for this test was for her subject to walk around randomly spouting phrases in a language he clearly didn't understand.

She then picked up another core and activated it as well. This one seemed silent at first before it began screaming hysterically as if it were a female victim in a horror film. It wasn't long before Glados grew increasingly annoyed by the core's wailing and immediately shut it off. Glados felt her circuits burning in rage before she turned on yet another core.

"Good day, m'am." the core said in a rather refined accent, "May I aid you in any way? I see you are working on a new project. Perhaps I could be of assistance."

Well, at least this one was polite. And, it seemed the most normal out of the ones so she had activated so far. However, as she attached the core to one of the various computer systems within the lab, Glados noticed something that made her frown (Well, if she had a mouth, that is). Within the Polite Core's memory file was tons and tons of information. Glados worried that all that data would fry the brain of her subject and kill him instantly. No, that would never do.

"I need something with...less information. Something that wouldn't fry the brain of my subject once I upload it into his brain." Glados said to herself as she pondered her situation, "Wait...I know exactly what to use. Activate Core Retrvial System."

"Core Retrivial System Activated. You may now activate a homing signal on any core to guide it back to the lab. Please enter the core's file number now." a voice spoke over the intercom system.

Glados chuckled darkly, "Retrive Core #SM10803083."